The Invisible War. What may be an interesting take...

I don't know if you have heard about it, but I finally saw the documentary The Invisible War.  Yeah sure I am going to tell you what I thought about it, but I also plan on sharing with you, more importantly, the conversations I had with people after I watched it.

It seemed the purpose of the documentary was to delve into the lives of people who had been sexually assaulted/raped while in the US military; they explored the difficult aftermath of having to go through such an ordeal (which in a way seems like an inappropriate word to use...most of the time when we use it, it's describing an exaggerated instance of something, and what these people went through was by no means an exaggeration).

I was deeply touched by everything that the ladies and man said about what they had been through. Equally, I was appalled at how uneducated the people that were supposed to be helping the issue were (but then again it was presented from a biased POV).  It documented one woman in particular. She had been raped and as a result suffered damage to her face, but the VA has been doing little/nothing to help her (this is super summarized). She teamed up with a bunch of other women, and they have been working to getting things changed legally.

Now, as I said, I was deeply touched by everyone's story, and I really could only imagine their pain but the more interesting fact is an underlying reaction I had....

The next day I was at my service site (MSH: My Sister's House) and I brought it up with some of the case managers because I knew they had seen it.  2 have served in the military before, and they both had seen the documentary.  They both explained their experiences while they served. 1 loved it, and 1 not so much (mostly because of how young she was).  The one that loved it, like I, really felt for the women in a very genuine way, but commented on how women who have been through some of the things that The Invisible War brings to light do not like her, because she still loves the military after hearing their stories. She says she understands where they are coming from, and understands their contempt for the institution, but she does not regret her service and would never discourage anyone from joining (as the woman I mentioned before did).

Before the case manager had said this, I hadn't really said much about my feelings about the documentary. But here's the thing. I have wanted to be in the military for a long time, and that definitely came about when I lived in Beaufort where Marines are pretty much everywhere.  That feeling has not gone away. So, as I watched The Invisible War I actually felt guilty, because even though I was watching and listening to these horrible things that happened to these people, it did not change how I personally felt about the military.  I do think things should be done, and I would hate for things like that to happen to me if I were to ever actually go into the military, but I wouldn't let what happened to these women stop me from going through with it.  I even feel that letting that stop me from joining is giving the men that hurt these women even more power.  That's what they want right? To be in control? And if no women are joining because they are "scared" of these men, then that's what they are getting. They are getting confirmation that they are in charge; they determine who is in the military; they determine if women are "allowed" and that is something that I do NOT agree with. While I see why the woman in the documentary was telling the waitress not to go into the military when she overheard her telling some other patrons that that's what she was going to do, I do not think she should push her personal experiences on to others. Inform? Yes! Please tell the world what it was like for you, but everyone has the RIGHT to make their own decisions, especially women.

So, do I actually have anything to feel guilty about? You could argue either way, but I personally think that a woman willing to serve her country, despite what challenges she may face on top of what naturally comes with serving, is stronger than any rapist in a uniform claiming to do the same.